For Neurodiversity Celebration Week, I posted a callout across various platforms for lived experiences of ADHD. I wanted to share perspectives from the people with the condition, which reflect both its positives and its challenges. You might think we hear plenty about ADHD these days, but we still don’t talk about it enough, particularly with each other. I am still always so personally affirmed when I hear that other people experience the same frustrations with their brains as I do; not that I’m happy others are struggling, but it helps us all to know we’re in it together and we’re not freakish anomalies. Similarly, it’s also really heartening when I hear people with ADHD talking about their unique talents and advantages. The general consensus on the word ‘superpower’ still varies widely, but make no mistake, neurodivergence can bring incredible benefits.

There’s still a lot of stigma around ADHD and many of us can feel shamed into silence, even if we’ve already talked about it publicly (this was certainly true for a while in my case, after I originally started talking about it a couple of years ago). A few people in this article wanted to remain anonymous; some said they don’t like to mention it to employers; some people I spoke to decided they weren’t ready to contribute and put themselves out there. Some were happy for certain details to be shared, but not others, such as photos, surnames or ages. All totally understandable; we all have different levels of comfort with discussing our own brains, experiences, strengths and challenges. Many will have already faced discrimination that puts them off opening up (hence common ADHD experiences such as rejection sensitive dysphoria and masking to fit into society).

This remaining reluctance around being ‘exposed’ for who we really are highlights an issue that hasn’t gone away, even as awareness has increased. We still don’t feel safe enough to talk about neurodivergent experiences and completely be ourselves, in a world built for the neurotypical population. The clue is in the name; neuro*typical* - “an individual who thinks, perceives, and behaves in ways that are considered the norm by the general population.” It’s estimated that 3.5% of adults and 5% of children have ADHD globally; this won’t account for those who are self-diagnosed, some of whom you’ll hear from in this article. So we can only assume the true figure will be much higher. With this in mind, shouldn’t the world be getting better at being neuroinclusive by now?

All that to say, there was an incredible reaction to my callout. More people volunteered to get involved than I ever imagined. Many wrote much more than requested (gotta love that ADHD enthusiasm when it’s something we’re really fired up about!). You’ll notice in the responses that there are many similarities we share; it’s also true that no two experiences of ADHD will look the same. Some people will have neurodivergent characteristics and experiences that others have never known, so assumptions and stereotypes about the condition are never helpful.

Reading through people’s submissions, I was eternally grateful for every single person’s generosity in disclosing their personal experiences. Every one of these participants chose to be a part of this so that they could help others to feel less alone, which is the core mission of Same Shit, Different Brain.

So I hope reading this makes you feel as encouraged by the human spirit and the power of community as it did for me.

**Sam Farhall**
**Age:** 39
**Profession:** Head of customer experience
I’m Sam, diagnosed with combined type ADHD when I was 36. It's been a process of learning about myself, and understanding why I had to paddle so hard for things that just seemed easy for other people. Being kinder, less self critical and understanding what a super power it can be have been key in my journey.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
Creative, out of the box solutions & being calm in a crisis
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
Disorganisation, distractions and realising my best times to work don't necessarily fit within standard business hours.

**Annabel Hughes**
**Age:** 19
I was diagnosed at 14. I’m glad I got the diagnosis, it helped me come to terms with why my brain doesn’t work the same as other people’s.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
No matter what, I have the drive to do whatever I put my mind to if it’s something I'm interested in - and I will always do it to the best of my ability.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
Unfortunately, if it’s something I'm not so interested in, no matter how hard I try I cannot put my head to it at all.

**Rochelle Hanslow**
**Age:** 36
**Profession:** Pet loss grief therapist, poet and writer
I realised I had AuDHD in early 2022 and after tests done by my doctor, was told it was undeniable - especially since I also had many comorbidities of it. I’ve been waiting for a confirmed diagnosis since. My husband and eldest have already been diagnosed, while myself and my youngest are waiting for an official diagnosis. Everything makes so much more sense; but there has been a lot of trauma and depression in the realisation that up to 34, my life was a lie. Slowly but surely, I’m finding ways to live my best neurosparkly life.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
I think for me, one of the positives of ADHD is that I’m good at listening and giving advice. I can assess situations well (for others at least) and help them easily.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
This is a 50/50 split for me personally. Executive dysfunction has to be one. The want to do something absolutely being there, but the ability nowhere to be found, is extremely debilitating. I also have to say the co-morbidities of PMDD and BDD have been difficult to navigate; there’s very little support or understanding for them in the medical field.

**Milo**
**Age:** 43
**Profession:** Head of marketing
I've not had an official diagnosis and not sure if I will or not. My GP was really uninterested in pursuing this, as "I'm clearly high functioning"...I'm on an 18th-month waiting list. I've taken some tests recommended by private therapists.
The biggest change for me is awareness. I am now very conscious about the way I respond to a whole range of situations and why...be they social, professional or personal.
This has enabled me to make better choices for myself, leading to me being less harsh on myself. I am able to communicate my 'inner world' much better. It's been less than a year but I feel like for the first time in my life, I am starting to understand ‘me’. A weight has definitely been lifted and it has improved my wellbeing no end.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
I love the way my mind works; I'm constantly looking for patterns, linking things together creatively. It's an incredible idea generator, which excites me daily.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
I'm too impulsive, often to my own detriment, landing myself in long-term stressful situations. Oddly, I've learned to reign it in at work to a degree, but when it comes to my own wellbeing? Ruh roh.

**Ilaria Passeri**
**Age:** 36
**Profession:** Storyteller in theatres, libraries and art galleries
I was diagnosed nearly two years ago but it’s always been obvious! I’ve been diagnosed with the combined type and comorbidity of anxiety. I wasn’t surprised to get my diagnosis but it did make me feel very sad at the time. My whole life made sense, but I was so upset at what I could’ve been. Thankfully, I’m able to have a job that completely suits my brain.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
Having so much empathy towards other people and being creative.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
Noisy head and the intense feeling of overwhelm.

**Ayesha Dey**
**Age:** 29
**Profession:** currently unemployed (as of three weeks ago)
I was diagnosed with ADHD in April 2023. I'm also currently awaiting a formal diagnosis of autism, but this will essentially confirm what I already confidently know with every cell in my body.
Truthfully, diagnosis has given me a whole new lease of life. I've struggled with anxiety, waves of mania/depression and many other challenges since I was a child. In 2019, I had a massive mental breakdown and have since struggled with agoraphobia. I've had to take baby steps to function in a basic human capacity again and it's been the biggest hurdle of my life so far. I've been humbled by this experience and have really learned what's important and what's not.
Diagnosis has helped to validate my struggles, unite me with the wider community of neurodivergent folk navigating similar challenges and empower me so that I can celebrate my unique strengths. I've gone from having 0 confidence in myself and crippling self-esteem to advocating hard for the things I believe I deserve, just as much as the next person. I've also found it easier to show up for myself by setting boundaries, asking for support, and communicating my needs more effectively. The best thing is that I can be a better ally for other disabled/neurodivergent folk and help those looking into diagnosis, so that they don't have to experience the fuckery I did.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
I'm naturally wired to be creative and have always taken to writing, singing and expressing myself easily. I'm good at coming up with innovative solutions to problems too, usually before most people even recognise there's a problem in the first place.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
Being chronically misunderstood. I'm a walking, talking contradiction and very energetic, which can be annoying and exhausting for others. It's hard enough for me to keep up with what's going on internally, so I can only imagine how challenging it is for people around me.

**Samantha Neville**
**Age:** 31
**Profession:** Communications and engagement manager in population health
I was diagnosed with combined-type ADHD last year at the age of 30 and all of a sudden, everything started to make sense. I wasn't broken or a shitty person. I just had a difference in my brain and needed to stop pretending to be something I wasn't and find ways of doing things that worked for me.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
My favourite thing about having an ADHD brain is the ability to always see the bigger picture and the detail other people may miss. if something interests me, I can put all my energy into learning everything about it. I'm a great problem solver - I think A to Z, not A to B, so I can come up with a solution before a meeting has finished a lot of the time. I'm completely at home in a crisis, I'm really creative, and I have heaps of empathy so I can really tune in to customers and target audiences. My restlessness has led to me build experience in so many industries and workplaces because I can't bear to have the same year twice.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
One of my biggest challenges is the stigma that comes with ADHD and trying to unmask after years of hiding my true self, or the fear that people think I'm 'making it up' or 'just lazy' when I'm really struggling with something that might be quite simple for everyone else. It's hard to admit, but I'm really emotionally dysregulated, and I struggle quite a lot with executive function. At work, I can appear to be on top of everything and leading really big projects, but then I'll spend the whole weekend in bed feeling drained and unable to do basic tasks like washing the pots or the laundry.

**Anonymous**
**Profession:** ⁠Project manager
I have no official diagnosis because I keep moving house and none of my GPs have ever been able to find me. It turns out it’s easy to slap a traumatised, undiagnosed ADHDer with a stigmatising BPD diagnosis. At least according to my doctors when I was 18.
Learning about neurodiversity made me feel like I’d just woken up from a lifetime of dreams spent trying to run through treacle. What do you mean that’s why all those years of therapy only helped with the emotional side and not with the ‘functional’ nuts and bolts? What do you mean my substance abuse was as a result of being unable to handle social situations without becoming overwhelmed? What do you mean, I’m not broken or unlovable?
I just need to learn what works for me instead of constantly prostrating myself at the altar of self-improvement, begging to find ‘the answer’. I’m not going to spend my life telling everyone I meet that I’m ADHD; but it’s a label I can use to help myself find the right support and tools when I’m feeling useless.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
I’m a social butterfly and can charm pretty much anyone.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
I can only socialise for about 2.5 hours before I start needing a) a nap, b) a drink. Hence why I tend to stay inside these days #soberlyfe (kinda 😅)

**Kate Oates**
**Age:** 40
**Profession:** Comms planner, yoga teacher and coach
I’m Kate, diagnosed with combined-type ADHD. Its been a process of mourning and learning. Finally I understand how my brain works, and am starting to create a toolkit that works for me. I’m finally being kinder to myself.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
My enthusiasm, empathy and spontaneity.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
Sensory overload, even in situations I am happy; and distractibility, which I wish I could control but I can’t.

**Alice Lyons**
**Age:** 35
**Profession:** Leadership and management apprenticeship facilitator / business coach
I’m self-diagnosed and for me, understanding my neurodiversity has helped me understand so many other things about myself, particularly health problems. It explains why I've had migraines since I was a baby, why my body reacts so dramatically to certain stimuli, and why I felt so out of place in society throughout my twenties. I realise now that a lot of the mental health problems I had (including depression and chronic suicidality) were a result of being neurodivergent and struggling to fit into a neurotypical world. The last couple of years have been an absolute revelation. I'm much more patient and compassionate to myself, and I find it easier to communicate my needs because I actually have the right vocabulary now. I don't need to be alone because I'm 'antisocial' - it's because I'm overstimulated and need to regulate myself and look after my basic needs 😊
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
My favourite positive is that when my energy is high I'm so vivacious! I bring the best out in others, can spark amazing conversations and am relentlessly present in the moment.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
The flipside of this is that when I've reached saturation point I crash, and I crash HARD! I can have migraines for days if I'm overstimulated, and I can find it nearly impossible to do a lot of everyday things, like shopping in a big supermarket.

**Shanna**
**Age:** 32
I think the most important thing I’ve learned is that the key is being able to get the support to understand yourself and the condition. This has helped me recognise the struggle and be compassionate to myself in the present and me in the past. To pre-empt and accept that there will be challenges, come up with strategies that help and even sometimes laugh at the struggle and the pickles I find myself in.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
I’m wary of ascribing positives to having ADHD. As I’ve learned more about it, its impacts on me and the damage caused by the perceptions (or more the misperceptions) of the condition, the more I want it to be seen as it is; a condition that doesn’t itself have positives.
However, like with any difference or challenge, navigating a world that isn’t your default shapes who you are, and often some of the things you most value about yourself come from this. For me, I think it has made me super adaptable and solutions-focused. Necessity is the mother of invention and I definitely feel I have developed a really strong ability to see patterns and make connections that often result in really positive outcomes, like novel approaches to issues and new ways of doing things.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
On the flip side, my biggest challenge is getting these to fruition. The inherent struggles with executive function, time blindness and my brain having two settings - now and not now, instead of an incremental sense of time that allows me to space things out. This means I frequently struggle with things that are second nature to others and seeing where other people can carry some of the load further down the line.
Ultimately, this combo means I can pull amazing things out of the bag but it’s often at the personal cost of running myself ragged. The sad bit is that often I don’t get to fully enjoy and celebrate achievements because it felt so bloody hard to get there!

**John Bulwich**
**Age:** 42
**Profession:** Actor
I was diagnosed 10 years ago. The neurotypical world felt alien to me; I struggled to fit in. The knowledge gave me more power and my feelings were finally validated when I overshared openly.
I then set up my own community of like-minded ADHDers, called ADHD Space. It helped me feel less alone when expressing how I felt. So now I fulfil my purpose of helping others by talking about my feelings. It’s collaborative and people are 100% my dopamine!
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
The fact that I can read a room, enter it and plug into the energy of it straight away. I’m not scared to talk to people; I can break the ice, speak to anyone and befriend them in a second - that’s what’s made me an amazing salesman and entrepreneur.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
Getting organised and trying to prioritise things. When I’ve got so many ideas, it’s trying to balance and execute them all. That’s why I need support.

**Ryan**
**Age:** 46
**Profession:** Group product manager
I was diagnosed with ADHD (more ADD as an adult) aged 46. It led to some 'interesting' conversations with my mother and a much healthier relationship with my wife and kids. Now I understand my behaviour, I'm sometimes able to pre-empt my impulses for the good of everyone. It doesn't always work and the struggle is real, but the learning curve is liberating.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
Being really curious, creative and enthusiastic (as discussed in this video Ryan shared!). I can find solutions faster than other people, and often think of ideas nobody else has thought of.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
Recognising when I’m spinning out of control and trying to address it.

**Charlotte Boerescu-Kelly**

**Profession:** Head of marketing
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult around two years ago. Getting a diagnosis later in life meant a lot to unpack. On the one hand, the relief in realising you're not alone is impossible to overstate. On the other, there's plenty of frustration to work through. Imagine finding out there are literal journals dedicated to explaining how and why your brain works, but nobody ever thought to mention it!
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
Problem solving. The ability to both learn and think really quickly is amazing when it comes to finding creative solutions to pretty much anything.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
Consistency - nothing is ever really embedded as a habit, interests can switch up at any second, and you never really feel ‘settled’, which can be exhausting.

**Kimi Wright**
**Age:** 35
**Profession:** Operations exec
I was first referred for diagnosis in 2019 and formally diagnosed in 2022. Diagnosis has allowed me to be kinder to myself and learn healthy coping mechanisms, instead of dangerous ones.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
A very, very wide variety of skills and knowledge, and I can multitask like a pro.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
You can't control the hyperfocus, which can make some tasks nigh on impossible to complete. I'd also add rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) to that.

**Andreea**
**Age:** 27
**Profession:** ⁠Marketing Lead
I was diagnosed 18 months ago. ⁠Getting my diagnosis was like getting the lifelong confirmation for always feeling a bit different, a bit awkward and a bit out of place. It has completely shifted my being and I finally have the answers, tools and techniques I need to start living instead of struggling. The grieving period was huge and it’s still here, but I’m grateful for all the support I have around me that contributed to building my confidence and self-esteem.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
I really started valuing my strategic thinking and pattern recognition ability, which I always classified as overthinking and jinxing. Something truly magical happens when you turn your ‘weaknesses’ into strengths and use them to your advantage. I can visualise a project or a situation in individual steps from start to finish in a matter of milliseconds, and I go through various scenarios until I find the outcome I desire. I’m able to predict what’s gonna happen next and whether something will or won’t work, purely based on instinct and accessing memories or information I don’t even know I have, at the speed of light.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
Having these amazing ideas for improving processes and structures, but quickly being able to determine the scope of work needed to accomplish them and immediately being demoralised by it. The hardest part is either starting or finishing up projects and it turns out they didn’t even take that long. Having this great desire for continuous improvement and a purposeful type of creativity comes with copious amounts of guilt and shame for not being able to do it. And when thinking back at ‘all the things I could have done, but didn’t do’, I can sometimes down-spiral.

**Rebecca Ryder**
**Age:** 37
**Profession:** Writer, actress, podcaster, speaker
I was diagnosed in 2022, aged 35. Being diagnosed has finally allowed me to understand why I struggle with certain things, and have done all my life. Why I always felt like an outsider. It’s given me permission to actively love myself more, as I now realise what boundaries or accommodations I need, and can apply logic and evidence to why I sometimes feel incapable or like I can’t just be ‘normal’. It has led to some of the best conversations of my life as I’ve met others with ADHD and we’ve talked about things so specific that I thought were only unique to me, which always made me feel strange and I never thought I’d hear anyone else relate to. It also brought its fair share of identity crises, wondering which parts of me were ‘real’ and feeling like a fraud for masking my whole life. It also made me feel sad that I didn’t have the knowledge and awareness when I was younger, to help the little me understand herself more and feel less alone.
**My favourite positive of ADHD:**
My energy and ability to pursue so many passions. My creativity. My enthusiasm for people and socialising. My hyper-sensitivity when it equates to a high level of empathy and feeling ‘positive’ emotions like joy and love so deeply. The speed at which my brain moves when applied to something I’m passionate about.
**My biggest challenge with ADHD:**
Having so many ideas for what I want to do and not enough time in the day for them all. This leads to me setting unrealistic standards for myself, getting overwhelmed and feeling I’m not reaching my full potential if I don’t complete every single one of those life goals. Struggling with starting and finishing tasks (even when it’s really easy or it’s something I love). My hyper-sensitivity when it means feeling other emotions like sorrow and rejection deeply, with the lows matching the highs. Rejection sensitive dysphoria, which can sometimes keep me isolated, make me ruminate or afraid to reach out. The constant exhaustion from the physical manifestions that come with struggling to relax; muscle tension, teeth grinding etc. Going into hyperfocus mode and being physically unable to tear myself away from what I’m doing, sometimes for endless hours.

If you have any questions at all about ADHD, you’d like me to do a speaker appearance at your company or work together on a project, you can reach out to me at hello@sameshitdifferentbrain.com.

Becky x

Rebecca Ryder - founder of Same Shit, Different Brain

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